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Bahamian Driving in Foreign - Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:30 am E-mail
It snowed all night. We woke up to a winter wonderland. All of the trees have a heavy frosting. It looks like a picture post card. We all went outside early. Mum and Miss Knowlton fed the goats and cavorted with the dogs. The dogs just love the snow, they are like children. Even my old golden retriever Shasta was keeping up with Toby, the border collie spark of lightning. I was shovelling the drive. The girls were having a snowball fight with their Grammy. Mum is in her 70's, and she had her a snowball fight with her grand-daughters.

I finished shovelling the laneway, and I started to brush off the vehicles. The Jeep Grand Cherokee was in the garage, but the Pontiac was covered with snow. As I was brushing the snow off, I noticed that the headlight was totally smashed. Not only was the lamp broken, but the bezel around it was snapped and the fender was slightly kivered as well. The car had obviously been hit or hit something. I rounded up the usual and only suspect, my oldest daughter. She denied everything hotly. I pointed out that just her and I drove the car, and it sure as hell wasn't me. She said the same thing and stomped off.

We all went inside and the mood was considerably less festive than 5 minutes before. Mum made tea for her and Miss Knowlton. Then she made a pot of coffee for me. Then she offered to make me breakfast. She wanted to know if she could make me ham and eggs and toast, with thick slices of fried ham from the ham roast that we had for dinner last night. I said no. There was silence around the kitchen table. Then Mum cleared her throat and said nervously "Pride Goeth Before a Fall". Mum is a Bahamian Bible thumper of the finest kind and she is always speaking Biblically, so I didn't react. Miss Knowlton was avoiding eye contact with me as well. Then the story spilled. It seems that these past few months, Miss Knowlton has been teaching Mum how to drive. Miss Knowlton has one of these puddle-jumper mini-Jeeps with a sewing machine engine -- a Suzuki or something like that. Well it seems that when I was out yesterday, Mum sees the keys to the Pontiac hanging on the keyrack near the door and decided to take it for a spin. She drove up to Miss Knowlton's, pulled in the drive and honked. Miss Knowlton joined her, and they took off down the deserted country road that we live on. According to Miss Knowlton, Mum tooted at everybody even though she didn't know them. Mum was really proud of her driving ability. And Mum said that her pride got her into trouble. She was too confident behind the wheel.

Mum then dropped Miss Knowlton off and turned down our laneway. The laneway was a wee bit slippery, and Mum jammed on the brakes and skidded into the pine tree at the front of the circular part of our drive. The headlamp was smashed. Mum carefully parked the car and put the keys back on the rack.

It felt kind of weird, when a reversal of roles comes about with your parent. I told Mum that she was banned from driving the car. Then my oldest daughter came down and demanded an apology from me. I readily gave it, then we all burst out laughing. It could have been a lot worse. Miss Knowlton says that Mum has a penchant for driving on the left even though we drive on the right here in Canada. She didn't want to correct Mum because it would fluster her. Thank God that there were no other cars on the road.

So the upshot is that Mum is getting driving lessons for Christmas. And she is driving the big 4x4 Grand Cherokee Jeep. I pity the poor people on the road. If you see a Bahamian Grammy barrelling down the wrong side of the road in a big black SUV -- well that'll be my Mum.
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