Bahamian Granny buys a 4 wheeler - Sat Apr 02, 2005

Man was I some ticked yesterday. I came home and checked voicemail. There was a message for Mum. The guy identified himself from the Honda dealership in town, and said that he would deliver Mum's vehicle at 1:30 PM yesterday.

Mum was at Miss Knowlton's and they weren't answering the phone. I was steamed. Mum has money now, and I was sure that some smooth-talking salesman talked her into buying a car. These days, you can get a car on credit, even if your credit is bad or non-existent. You just pay credit card interest rates.

The other thing that irked me, was that I gave Mum driving lessons for Christmas. However, in this jurisdiction we have the graduated system. You need your G1 licence or learners permit for a year. That means that you need a licenced driver in the front seat beside you, you can't drive at night and you can't drive on a four lane highway. And you can't have even a drop of alcohol. Mum has had her learners permit for 3 months. After a year, you take a driving test and graduate to G2, which is less restrictive. After a year of G2, you take your final driving test and get issued with a G or General Permit for passenger cars and light trucks.

So if Mum wanted a car, she couldn't drive it alone for another 9 months. I contemplated phoning the salesman, but I stopped for two reasons. First of all, Mum is an adult, and she has her own money. Secondly, I didn't have Mum's permission to phone the salesman, and it was getting close to 1:30, which was delivery time.

I was worried sick that Mum got into a contract that took advantage of her. After all, she has no experience buy cars, or dealing with finance. And all of her money is self-employed earnings. If her earnings went down, she wouldn't be able to afford payments. And she is getting old. I considered calling my lawyer to see what it would take to get out of a sales contract.

Well at 1:30, the truck from the Honda dealership pulled into the laneway. From the back of, they unloaded the most gorgeous Honda Fourtrax All Terrain Vehicle, the 500FG. It had a little trailer so that Mum and Miss Knowlton can haul hay and feed for the goats. The trailer has a little rack where they could stack their implements, and a liner so that they could haul manure and agricultural waste out back. Mum and Miss Knowlton split on the vehicle, and they paid cash.

I took the thing for a rip out back in the woods. It has a 500 cc engine and I roared through mud, over hill and dale. When I got back, Mum was mad and made me wash it.

I am sitting at my computer now with a cup of coffee, and splitting a gut laughing. If people could see this old Grammy from Freeport tooling around in a slick ATV among the goats, being chased by a black and white dog who barks at the throaty roar of the thing. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this scene.

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